Almost Bare Podcast
May 7, 2019
Cigarette Break 02: Cherry Poppin’ Daddy
Lyndsay Soprano and Jon Ramirez take a Cigarette Break to talk about Jon’s bachelor party.
The party was thrown in Mexico, where Jon and his future wife, Kari, will be getting married.
The group consisted of five of Kari’s guy friends; a gay couple, a photographer, and one who is known as a “player.”
One of the gay guys picks him up and blindfolds him and asks him if he’s “ready for the night,” and lets Jon know that Kari set no limitations. As they’re riding in the car, Jon is convinced that he’s going to die and starts freaking out because he doesn’t know what to expect.
At the first stop, his friends take off his blindfold to reveal a rooftop lounge with a beautiful view of the city, where they have a couple of drinks.
The photographer hypes him up for the next stop and tells him that they will be taking away his phone and that the night is going to get crazier.
For the next stop, they go to a model’s house where they have some tacos and more drinks, and Jon is given the option to either play “Smash & Pound” or “Drink & Drive.” Jon chooses “Smash & Pound,” which is where you play Super Smash Brothers, and take a shot every time you lose.”
The guys continue to hype Jon up and tell him that they’re going to a “bar” to have some more drinks.
The “bar” turned out to be a rinky dink club. The first thing he saw was a stripper pole, and the second thing he saw was two big ol’ titties. His friends could see the panic on his face and reassured him that he didn’t have to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with.
Jon later found out that only of that 1 out of 5 guys had ever been to a strip club, and no one was really interested in being there. He asked why they were there, and everyone just agreed it was “tradition.”
Jon couldn’t understand why anyone would pay money to get blue balls.
He immediately texted his fiancé and said, “I’m so excited to see your vagina on our honeymoon.”
Send us your funny strip club stories to:
In the near future, we will be bringing a sex worker on the podcast to talk about what drives them to become a stripper, how much money they make, and safety.
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