Almost Bare Podcast
June 4, 2019
Episode 05: Masturbation Proclamation
On this episode of the Almost Bare Podcast, Lyndsay Soprano and Jon Ramirez start off the show by recapping last week’s episode about anal sex, and Kari’s (Jon’s wife’s) reaction to finding out that he doesn’t want to have it anymore.
A listener sent us an email to tell us know that there is a term for what Jon and his wife were doing before marriage, called saddlebacking.
[02:10] Saddlebacking- the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities. Named after Saddleback Church, home of the Reverend Rick Warren, who is a proponent of abstinence education, the “sex ed” that has convinced so many Christian girls and boys that buttfucking isn’t actually sex. (www.urbandictionary.com)
Saddlebacking- After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.
Jon “confesses” that he got into masturbating in high school, and that he didn’t know about Masturbation or porn until a kid from his baseball team asked him if he had ever watched porn. This lead to a magically night, where the stars were perfectly aligned, and he opened his laptop and searched google images for “porn.” He had a spontaneous orgasm and kind of freaked out because he didn’t know what was happening, but it felt good and he wanted to revisit that feeling. He ended up becoming a chronic masturbater, averaging 4-5 times a day! He goes on to talk about how he felt a lot of shame around this because of his religion, and how it was a disservice to have basically no sex education that hadn’t properly prepare him for what to expect, leading him to learn about sex from porn.
Lyndsay talks about how she started her period very young, at the age of 9. Her first “experience” with Masturbation was when she realized that if she touched her little “bean,” it felt good. She recalls talking to a friend in school who had also started her period very young, and the friend gave her some tips on masturbating in the tub. She would scooch her butt up against the bathtub wall and let the water rub down inside of her and onto her clit. She goes on to talk about how she was never big into Masturbation until recently, after her divorce, and pretty much only used toys as “marital aids” until this point.
They go on to discuss the question of, “why do people masturbate and why is it so exciting?” He talks about how he feels shame and guilt from a Christian perspective because masturbating is only wanted the pleasure part of sex. She explains that a large number of people have sex for pleasure, not just for procreation purposes. He talks about how he personally believes that he has a higher energy level and feels more productive when he chooses not to masturbate, whereas women typically get energy from orgasms. Masturbation can be used as a stress reliever and is known to lower resting heart rates for up to 12 hours after an orgasm.
Jon goes on to talk about the negative effects that chronic masturbating had on his life, such as using it as a coping mechanism and how it made him act shallowly towards women who didn’t meet the expectations that porn had set for him. He felt as though he got his life right when he stopped masturbating and was able to be more productive instead of it constantly being on his mind. He explains how he felt shame as a Catholic because Masturbation goes against the natural order, and that he feels more fulfilled and gratified now by being patient and waiting to have sex with his wife. He talks about an audiobook he listened to called Game Changers by Dave Asprey [34:29], who would only orgasm every 4 days to prolong the gratification.
Lyndsay explains that she doesn’t like porn and is okay with only masturbating once every 1-2 weeks because there’s no passion connected. She goes on to talk about her powerful orgasms, and how they wipe her out physically, but charge her up mentally.
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