Almost Bare Podcast
August 22, 2019
Episode 13: Harm-Ageddon
On this episode of the Almost Bare Podcast, sinner, Lyndsay Soprano and saint, Jon Ramirez are talking about the heavy topic of sexual assault and rape, including a personal experience. This one’s a doozy!
Lyndsay starts off the episode by explaining the difference between sexual assault and rape:
● Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. Penetration may be by a body part or an object.
● Sexual Assault is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling.
● Every 92 seconds another American is sexually assaulted.
● 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed, 2.8% attempted).
● About 3% of American men—or 1 in 33—have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
● From 2009-2013, Child Protective Services agencies substantiated, or found strong evidence to indicate that, 63,000 children a year were victims of sexual abuse.
● A majority of child victims are 12-17. Of victims under the age of 18: 34% of victims of sexual assault and rape are under age 12, and 66% of victims of sexual assault and rape are age 12-17.
Lyndsay talks about her own experience with sexual assault, by sharing her story of being raped. It was 1991 and she was 13 years old, and was in the park for a birthday party when she was raped by a gross, stinky guy. She was extremely embarrassed, and she kept it to herself until she was in college, when she told her roommate. She feels like she’s kept this secret for so long and it’s finally time to open her mouth and share her story, especially with everything that has come from the Me Too Movement. She also talks about the long-term effects this has had on her life, and how she has struggled with her sexuality and feeling loved.
Jon discusses Sexual Desire Disorder, as well as other possible “motives” people have for committing sexual assault, and the need for more mental health resources. He is glad that this is something he can’t relate to or understand.
They segway into the importance of finding a therapist that you vibe with and connect with to be able to deal with your issues. Lyndsay shares that she has attempted to find a therapist since moving to Burbank, but hasn’t found anyone that she shares that connection with. She talks about her experience going to a therapist who specializes in chronic pain, but had never even broken a bone before.
She continues by discussing what would’ve happened if she had gotten pregnant by her rapist and the emotional toll it would’ve taken on her for the rest of her life. She believes that her parents, right-wing, conservative, Christians, would’ve wanted her to have an abortion so that this stigma wouldn’t follow her. She was 39 years old when she first started to deal with the event, and can’t even imagine throwing a baby into the equation. At this point in her life, she says she would carry the baby and give it up for adoption because of her struggle with infertility, because she would be happy to give life to someone else that is struggling to conceive. She feels that abortion should be handled case by case, and not state or federally regulated, because life is heavy enough without the government trying to control women’s bodies.
Jon shares the statistics that 1 in 4 girls, and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before age 18, and that 96% of the abusers of children are men. He goes on to talk about Megan’s Law, a federal law, and informal name for subsequent state laws, in the United States requiring law enforcement authorities to make information available to the public regarding registered sex offenders.
On a lighter note, Jon and Lyndsay are celebrating the fact that this is their 20th distributed episode, and although it may not sound like a lot to some, they feel like they’re finally in their groove, taught each other a lot, and have come so far since their first episode.
Sexual Assault Hotline – 800-656-HOPE
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Links and Resources:
Difference Between Sexual Assault and Rape [01:20]
Sexual Assault Statistics [02:50]
Me Too Movement
The ‘me too’ movement was founded in 2006 to help survivors of sexual violence, particularly Black women and girls, and other young women of color from low wealth communities, find pathways to healing. Our vision from the beginning was to address both the dearth in resources for survivors of sexual violence and to build a community of advocates, driven by survivors, who will be at the forefront of creating solutions to interrupt sexual violence in their communities.
Child Predator Statistics
Brock Turner Case
Sexual Assault Statistics
Sexual Desire Disorders
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) and sexual aversion disorder (SAD) are an under-diagnosed group of disorders that affect men and women. Despite their prevalence, these two disorders are often not addressed by healthcare providers and patients due to their private and awkward nature.
Megan’s Law [33:58]
Megan’s Law is the name for a federal law, and informal name for subsequent state laws, in the United States requiring law enforcement authorities to make information available to the public regarding registered sex offenders. Laws were created in response to the murder of Megan Kanka. Federal Megan’s Law was enacted as a subsection of the Jacob Wetterling Crimes Against Children and Sexually Violent Offender Registration Act of 1994, which merely required sex offenders to register with local law enforcement. Since only few states required registration prior to Megan’s death, the state level legislation to bring states in compliance —with both the registration requirement of Jacob Wetterling Act and community notification required by federal Megan’s Law— were crafted simultaneously and are often referred to as “Megan’s Laws” of individual states. Thus, federal Megan’s Law refers to community notification (making registry information public), whereas state level “Megan’s Law” may refer to both sex offender registration and community notification.