Almost Bare Podcast
October 10, 2019
Cigarette Break 10: Snoop Dogg
On this episode of the Almost Bare Podcast, Lyndsay Soprano and Jon Ramirez take a Cigarette Break and interrupt their weekly detox to talk about toxic people and relationships.
Jon starts the episode off by trying to define what a true toxic relationship is. He questions whether some people are truly toxic, or if we just label them that way because they aren’t like us. Lyndsay adds that religion could also play a role in why we think people are toxic or bad.
She gives the example of her ex-husband, who was a raging alcoholic and went around tearing people’s lives apart because of it.
They explain that toxic relationships aren’t strictly romantic, they can include friends and family members as well. Lyndsay shares that her biological dad was a toxic person in her life and she cut him off. She tells a story about him leaving her a horrible voicemail and saying he never wanted to see her again because she had her stepfather listed as her father on Facebook.
Jon wonders if it’s possible to fix a toxic relationship, but Lyndsay explains that it is toxic to try and fix a toxic relationship. The analogy she gives is that she took dozens of supplements to try to avoid taking opiates, and they just messed her up in other ways and caused more problems.
She goes on to talk about the effect that toxic people can have on overall health and wellness. She explains that her pain has forced her to move the toxic people out of her life, and that through doing this, her pain has dissipated.
Jon feels like he can sometimes play mind games with himself and trick himself into thinking people are toxic when he really doesn’t know them.
He lists 8 signs of a toxic relationship:
They aren’t there to celebrate your success.
Meaning they may show up, but they don’t show up.
They don’t care about you.
They only want you around when it’s convenient for them.
They’re not interested in the details of your life.
They always shift the conversation back to them.
They don’t share the details of their life with you.
A real friend relies on you to talk things over and values your opinion.
Your mother doesn’t like them.
Disclaimer: This may not work if your mother is also a toxic person.
- Lyndsay feels like her mother doesn’t really understand her and tries to avoid most conversation with her mother.
- Jon loves his mom, but there are always a lot of elephants in the room.
His therapist explained to him that just because your mother is your mother, doesn’t mean you need to have a relationship with them.
They don’t prioritize you.
They don’t really want to do things with you.
They keep score.
They hold grudges.
They criticize you, but not constructively.
They tear you down, but don’t build you back up.
Jon and Lyndsay express the importance of taking care of yourself before others and making sure that your mental health is in check.
Health is wealth, y’all.
Send us your stories about your toxic relationships or the toxic people in your life to:
Please do not send diagrams or pictures!
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