Va-ja-jay Vacay a Cigarette Break
Almost Bare Podcast
June 27, 2019
Cigarette Break 05: Va-ja-jay Vacay
On this episode of the Almost Bare Podcast, Lyndsay Soprano and Jon Ramirez take a Cigarette Break to talk about Lyndsay’s upcoming va-jay-jay vaycay.
She starts off the episode by explaining that she is leaving because she is in so much pain and has spent so many years of her life trying different things to help and found a wellness center that focuses on “the whole you.” She goes on to warn us that she may come back smelling like curry and turmeric, with blousy floral pants, a dot on her forehead, henna tattoos up and down her arms, and jingle bells on her ankles because she isn’t totally sure what to expect. Jon jokes that the podcast will become the “Namaste Podcast.”
She further explains that she is taking the opportunity to go on this vacation because it will give her the ability to check out and focus on herself for once, instead of always taking care of others. She mentions that her dad always told her that the greatest things about her are also the worst, and that her loving, giving nature usually ends up fucking her over.
She has a lot of anxiety because she has never left for more than three days, and is worried about leaving her dogs, work, family, and friends for 12 days. This anxiety has been keeping her from sleeping due to “busy brain syndrome,” on top of already being an insomniac. Her family and friends always told her that her sleep deprivation would eventually catch up with her, and she feels as though it did a few years ago when everything started happening with her bod. She reveals that she has already had a heart attack and heart surgery, and links it to not sleeping well for all these years.
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